Care Assistant with some experience in Physiotherapy for the Aged (Level 2 or higher)
Position open for a Care Assistant to take over when we are too busy to have to mess around when some Old Dears start to feel needy. The successful applicant will be stepping into the breach left when our former Care Assistant was dismissed for taking her duties far too lightly.
The former care assistant needs to be named as all should beware of the little minx: She was (and might probably still be) Ms Angelica Höchstrutter.
We all like a bit of fun and Twilight Lawns has had its fair share of fun in the past. One has only to watch the Residents at their fortnightly Housie Housie evenings, or to have watched them sitting enthralled when Sister Mary Perpetua’s Little Friends of Jesus entertained us with their Morris Dancing Extravaganza.
Lesson to be learned: Some audience participation was ill-advised. Beatrice will probably be permanently confined to a wheel chair after “Dobbin the Hobby Horse” in the form of a very fat seven year old fell on her. One must agree that sticks, swords, handkerchiefs and bells had never been perceived as particularly aggressive instruments until that memorable evening.
Unfortunately, the last Care Assistant incumbent (Ms Höchstrutter) went too far when she, (either through a wicked streak in a very unChristian soul, or because she just didn’t care about her charges in the least), set in motion a whole catalogue of unkindnesses which took a lot of explaining and a good dear of Police man-hours to untangle.
There are Specifics: (One feels that an explanation of what occurred should be made, so that the Successful Applicant knows where she/he stands and so that she/he will not make the same errors of judgement; mistakes; or indulge in just perversely cruel actions) of the wicked, wicked former Care Assistant.
The elderly do need exercise, it is true, but the “Wrinkly Hunt” which Ms Höchstrutter allowed the Cub Scouts of the East Surrey Pack to organise was unnecessary, cruel, and only slightly amusing. Why the Reverend Hugh Halitosis didn’t discover what was going on and why he didn’t do something about it is beyond one.
How they managed to take all those Residents all the way to Farthing Downs is still unclear. To unleash them and then “hunt” them through the woods and across the open spaces with all those dreadful dogs; and those naughty little Cub Scouts shrieking and bellowing and beating the undergrowth with sticks is fuel for nightmares. It took days to round up some of the Old Dears, and to the present one has no idea of what happened to Clarice and Old Mr Potter. Let us assume that they are still living rough, or that some kind peasants have taken them in. Three months is a long time, however.
Care Assistant seems a somewhat empty title, when remembering the attitude of the ghastly Höchstrutter: There are many times during a full and busy day when one Resident or another wants some extra attention; perhaps they have fouled themselves or missed a couple of meals or fallen down in the ornamental garden or fallen into the Virginia Woolf Memorial Lake… some, if not all of the usual occurrences at Twilight Lawns. Our usual policy is to politely ignore them and get around to the problem at a more convenient time. That, we have found, works well and promotes continuity.
A Care Assistant, on the other hand, should show a little more care… that is part of her duties. Ms Höchstrutter had a stock reply when the Old Dears tended to be too needy: “Bugger off!”
Demon drink, we feel, was part of the reason (or one of the reasons) for her bizarre attitude to her post. She seldom spent the afternoons of any day in a sober enough state to do much, apart from striding around the Home in her flamboyant manner, whacking the side of her boot with her riding crop, barking out invectives and sneering at Staff and Residents alike.
We think that it was due to the encouragement of Demon Drink that led her to make an indecent proposal (with actions, invading her personal space) to Cook, when she strode into the kitchen and found Dear Cook, bending over, taking a tray of croissants out of the oven. Thank God, Eulalia Hawkins (Mrs) was present; heard Cook’s screams, and with the assistance of Raj, managed to drag that dreadful person off our Dear Sweet Cook.
It was at that stage that it was decided that the awful Ms Angelica Höchstrutter had to go, her contract as Care Assistant only partly complete.
Those interested in this post, please contact:
Miss Beryl Pugh (Secretary)