Twilight Lawns plc

Norfolk Farmvillagers II


Look at the "Game" as it unfolds before your eyes.  Think to yourself:

Is this familiar?  Have I played similar games before?  Is this all a harmless bit of fun?

Then read on and see how Dear Celia (Name withheld for obvious reasons) was entrapped, duped and eventually driven to become the pathetic husk of the person that she was in happier days.  The once proud and diligent mother of six worthy children, grandmother of innumerable grandchildren; now a shade of her former self, depending on others for her every need; for a guiding hand; a loving word.  Now a veritable vegetable, prone to the little unkindnesses of a less than caring world.

Oh, That her once proud daughter had listened to the warning voice that fell upon her unhearing ears; the warning that she was given when first Dear Celia (Name withheld for obvious reasons) fell beneath the thrall of Norfolk Farmvillagers, the Devil's tool.

Norfolk Farmvillagers - A Community of Farmers or a Cult?


Continuing the harrowing tale of "Celia" an honest, Christian lady, in the autumn of her days, who fell foul of the evil machinations of a world plague that is poisoning the minds, thoughts and deeds of good and worthy people.

Gentle reader.  This is a continuation of the previous page. (Norfolk Farmvillagers)  Read how “Celia” (name withed for obvious reasons), a kind mother and grandmother, became so taken up by the thrill of the “game” that she started to believe that she was actually tending a holding in her native Norfolk.  

Witness how she became deluded, and with delusion came aggression, perversity and unreasonableness, so that she deleted her very best friend, Mr Brendan Bagwash (also known as Eleanor Lavish), from her list of Friends on FaceBook.  

It was the slippery slide, and she, poor dear, was standing at the top of it with the toes of both feet curled over the edge.  Soon came the inevitable plunge into insanity and dementia… Her only interest in life: the “Game” which had robbed her if her good sense, her sanity, her open carefree nature; but it had also robbed her adoring family of a coherent, loving mother and grandmother.

The above is an advertisement for Dulcie cards.  

All names & addresses are purely fictional; any similarities between persons, living or dead are coincidental & the product of a deranged mind.

Brenda Bagwash

Celia Wicket                                Celia visited your farm and left you a Special Delivery!              

Celia stopped by to help out and was kind enough to send you a gift. They hope you find it useful!

Mystery Gift Gxxxxa

Brendan Bagwash                          Brendan found a lost little White-tailed Buck on their (AKA) Eleanor Lavish                      farm. Oh no!


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Brendan was tending some new sprouts when a White-tailed Buck wandered onto their farm. The buck got lonesome living in the wood s and he thought he would like to move to Farmville and make some new friends.  Do you want to adopt him?

Farmville Deer

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Samir Family

Samir Khan                                         Samir says:

                     We've finished your lovely new red barn, Brendan. Just a word of warning: It's for keeping things in, but perhaps I shouldn't be unkind, but be careful about putting that parcel that Celia left on your doorstep. The old bird has been messing around with fertiliser, and I think she was seen in the library looking at books concerning the making of homemade bombs.  Alas, I’m not so sure about this.  I have heard that she has been seen watching Al Qaeda videos, and you know where that can lead.  She’s a very impressionable little madam

Farmville Amish Barn Complete

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Celia Wicket                           Celia says:  

                    Brendan, I dont like your friends and if they are the kind of friends you have then they think they are funny that saba chataband and enzz and samir are not funny norfolk farmvillagers is my life and i have to bring in the chickens and goats and pigs the cows need milking i will see you in the street but not as my neighbour on norfolk farmvillagers any more good bye

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Kitten Brenda Bagwash

Brendan Bagwash                 Brendan found a lost little Himalayan Kitty on their farm. (AKA) Eleanor Lavish

                                              Oh no!



Brendan was tending their crops when a sad, lonely Himalayan Kitty wandered onto their farm. The kitty had been playing with butterflies, and lost count of the time.  My goodness, one wonders where she came from.

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Donkey 2

ENzz                       ENzz says:

                         What?  All the way from the Himalayas?  I don't think so.  But if he is, I think the Home Office should know about him... there's a quota for all immigrants.  Is she on a Student Visa by any chance?

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This is just a snippet of the time that Celia spent hovering on the edge of cyber space before she plunged headlong into her little land of make-believe.  If you look carefully, you can see where she knew that Norfolk Farmvillagers was “just a game” and then she came to believe that she was involved in farm work and was collecting eggs and tending cattle and sheep.  

Her daughter, who we have called “Boudicca” here, out of deference for her grieving over the loss of her mother (Loss of her mother’s faculties, her reason), didn’t see the danger signals in time, and neither did her loving family.  They were content to “allow the old dear to play by herself and indulge her little whims”, little realising that the Celias of this world are sorely ill-equipped to deal with the enormous resources that are available for those who promote the likes of Norfolk Farmvillagers and all the other spurious games that are lurking in cyberspace.


Read the eloquent letter that Mr Saba Chataband, that well known Crusader against Evil, sent to Celia’s daughter, “Boudicca”.  Marvel at its eloquence, weep at how truly and succinctly he saw and prophesied the eventual outcome, due to the family’s recalcitrance.  But let this be a lesson to be learned… Should this happen to any other the like of Celia?  

"No." Did I hear you say, "No?"  

Gentle reader, it is happening throughout the length and breadth of this planet.  From the Cossack on the Russian Steppes to the Hindu beside the Brahmaputra; from the hard worked little collier emerging from his colliery in Wales to the Italian Madre, preparing Gnocchi in her cucina beside the Arno, and yes, even the little brown faced Brazilian and Portuguese chaps in Africa or South America or wherever they come from. If any one of these persons, whether they be working class or much better, as are the likes of you and me; if they have access to a computer, they are in danger from the beast that is the like of Norfolk Farmvillagers and all the other tools of the Devil...  all over the world.

Let this be our rallying cry: “Stamp Out Norfolk Farmvillagers Now”.

Below is the letter to Celia's Daughter, "Boudicca".

Please note: "Boudicca" became very irate with Samir Khan, ENzz and Mr Chataband (Saba) at one stage.  Consequently, Mr Chataband gained her confidence, and attempted to rectify the misunderstandings which had led to acrimony.


Dear Boudicca (real name withheld to observe her privacy)


I hope you are well. I apologise for the delay in replying to your message, but I have been away for a conference in Geneva.


I'm so sorry that your dear, old mother was upset by the conversation we had regarding Norfolk Farmvillagers. I always tell myself not to get involved, but my inner instincts always win in the end. My aim was to actually protect your mother and all those who are now playing Norfolk Farmvillagers, but I tried to cover this up by being light-hearted so that she didn't think I was being a killjoy. I have many fears regarding the Norfolk Farmvillagers "game” and the turmoil it can cause. I also use the word "game" in a very loose way. I've seen lives destroyed because of it, mine included, so I find it hard to see it as a simple "game".


Norfolk Farmvillagers has very strong links to a subversive brand of organisations across the world. Some call them "cults", but I prefer not to categories these people as it just sensationalises the issue and gives them more free publicity in the long term. These organisations don't care about you. They don't care about the millions of innocent animals, the crops you work hard to maintain, or the hardworking slaves who live in Norfolk Farmvillages. They just see this "game" as a means to control you. How many times have you arrived at your mother's house, for example, on a Sunday, expecting to have a joyous family roast, only to find your mother slumped over the computer with blood shot eyes and the food lying unprepared in the kitchen? What happens then? You end up arguing, don't you? That is what these people want. They want to drive a wedge between people and move in, to take over. You must have heard of the phrase "divide and conquer". That is precisely what they want to do.


As I mentioned earlier, I've just returned from a trip to Geneva, for a conference organised by the League Against the Religion of Norfolk Farmvillagers (L.A.R.F.).  This is an organisation that has recently widened its scope to take in Norfolk Farmvillagers, but still retains the acronym LARF. At the conference we discussed how Norfolk Farmvillagers has close ties with certain sects and religious groups whose aim is to drag families apart.  You may have heard of "New Age Conspiracism" and most famous of all the "New World Order". There are numerous articles you can read which are posted on the internet about the dangers of Norfolk Farmvillagers and I’ve attached one below. I'm sure you can Google others, if you wish.


or you could use its former URL (Both will find the site)


You may also have heard of David Icke and his theories about how many prominent figures in the world are actually not human at all and are actually here to take charge and enslave the human race. Members of Scientology have even started handing out Norfolk Farmvillagers software containing various cheats with their information pamphlets, in order to encourage people to take up the pastime and for members of Scientology to secure an upper hand in the game.


It is also no coincidence that 93% of all the farms in Norfolk Farmvillagers are built on the mystical geographical points known as "ley lines". These points on the earth are the pathways and cross roads for both negative and positive energy to pass.


I really don't want to patronise an intelligent woman such as yourself by lecturing you and I'm sure you can Google the subject and read about it further, should you wish. Once again, my apologies for any distress I may have caused your mother and your good self.



Home Office

Margaret                   Margaret from the home Office says:

                                                                              We're on to you.  We know this is all some sort of code and that there isn't any Twilight Lawns branch of Norfolk Farmvillages.  It's all code.  I know.  I've been up half the night, every night, trying to unravel your little plots.  Hand over the cat, Miss Lavish.  It doesn't have a Student Visa.  It's an illegal.  

The sun will come out tomorrow, tra la la!  You can't fool me, Tra la la!

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Notice in the Croydon Guardian:  

Miss Margaret Dunsmore, much loved and respected employee at the Home Office, Croydon; elderly spinster lady of  Thornton Park House, Croydon, plunged to her death from the  top floor of the multi-story car park in the Whitgift Centre late last  night.  "Miss Dunsmore had been experiencing some severe mental strain" says a spokesperson.