Brendan Bagwash Brendan found this dear Little Piggy eating what they

(AKA) Eleanor Lavish thought were delicious Brown Truffles

Brendan wanted to share their lovely little piggy with their friends, but when they smelt his breath, they realised that it hadn’t been eating brown truffles at all.
The pig’s breath wasn’t too nice either.
Pigs are dirty little buggers and will eat anything.

Norfolk Farmvillagers Comments

Samir said: Dem animals ain't Halal man. Get urself a real pet like a dog or a goat or a camel, Innit.

Samir Khan

  Brendan, we're almost finished building your barn for you. We were putting the finishing touches to the roof, and suddenly Saba noticed that the three girls (Boudicca, Celia and Polly) were nowhere to be seen. Eventually we found them behind the pig pen; absolutely pissed out of their brains. Polly had gone in search of the red paint as we had asked her, But unfortunately she ended up in the most deplorable hostelry where some very inconsiderate people had been plying them with Bloody Marys all afternoon. She became more than a little belligerent when we asked her where the red paint we had sent her in search of had gone, and told Dear Little Saba, that “Bloody Marys were the nearest to fucking red liquid he was likely to be getting “in or out of a can”. Saba burst into tears. You know what a sensitive little chap he is. What a nasty end to a lovely day. Demon drink, Brendan, The Devil’s tool.

This dear little Woolly Baa Lamby wandered into Brendan’s part of Norfolk Farmville, crying his dear little Woolly Eyes out. Nasty Celia Wicket and her BNP cronies had given him such a hard time... just because he looked different to all the other sheep on her farm. "Sanctuary!" he cried, plaintively, "Sanctuary!” but nasty old Brendan wasn't interested. All they wanted was a life of hedonistic pleasure, with their new friends.
Wicked, wicked, cruel Brendan!

  I know just how he feels. I saw this gang of white woolly thugs looking at him sideways and pretending not to notice. But there was a lot of jostling going on there and saying rude words. Celia and her cronies were in there asking the "other ones" (the white ones) to sign up for the BNP or UKIP or whatever wanky political party she belongs to. They even tried to bribe all of us with free meals. We were almost tempted at first, till it turned out to be Lamb Biryani, and that's not on, man.
Don't let them try to buy your favours, man. Some people will do anything for a Biryani, but Lamb Biryani's cannibalism, Nowah Amin.

Samir Khan said:

Brendan is constructing a Nursery Barn and needs help! They need their friends to send them 10 Wooden Boards, 7 Kilos of Nails, 8 Bottles, and 9 Blankets, 3 x 20 Kilo Bags of Ferous Nitrate, 1 Generator (petrol driven), 2 Areial Photogtaphs of the Palace of Westminster, 5 Maps of the London Underground and 1 Partridge in a Pear Tree.

ENzz

  Got your message, Brother. Heavy, man. A shipment of "balloons" is ready for dispatch. Give my love to "Auntie Fawzia" and take care.

ENzz says:

Brendan Bagwash Brendan found this dear Little Piggy with his snout in the (AKA) Eleanor Lavish trough, eating goodness knows what slop.

Brendan took him by his little piggy trotter and they went out for a quiet candlelit dinner at the ‘Taj Mahal’ Indian Restaurant, Lower Halstead-in-the-Marsh, where Brendan has often had a good mouthful.
It was their First Date.

Brendan Bagwash Brendan and their New Friend walked along the (AKA) Eleanor Lavish picturesque little street in Lower Halstead-in-the-Marsh

Suddenly Brendan recognised the Restaurant:
"My goodness," they stammered, and their face went red with embarrassment. "I seem to remember this restaurant. I get free Biryanis from here for services rendered".
Piggy was nonplussed… He was only a young and inexperienced Piglet really, and not a Pig of the World. With no finesse, no sophistication. But unlike his date for the evening, he had morals.

Celia was helping around your farm, when they stumbled across some extra fuel! There's more to be had, so Celia wants to share some with you!

Norfolk Farmvillagers Comments

Samir says:

  You're naught, naughty, girl, Celia. Just because you found that fuel on Brendan's allotment, it doesn't mean it's yours to keep or to share. Give it back. That's common theft

Celia Wicket Celia says:

  Your a stupid stupid stupid man samir do you look like your pic or do you look like your mate ENzz more like it why dont you mind your own business and leave us alone its only a game samir

Boudicca Boudicca says:

  Yes, Samir. You get on with your life and let me and my dear old sainted Mother get on with ours. It's only a game, Samir. It's only a bit of fun. She's a mother of five strong lads and myself and a grandmother and could give you a run for your money.

Brendan was farming when a sad, Lost Turtle wandered onto their farm in FarmVille. This little guy was running a race and lost his way. None of his little friends are to be found. He is sad and alone and feels he wants a new home.

Norfolk Farmvillagers Comments

Samir Khan Samir says:

  Get a grip, Brendan. That's not a turtle. It's a tortoise. Turtles swim and tortoises walk. That's the whole bloody point of the race in the fable Next minute there'll be some sodding Hare coming and saying he's lost and pissed off for losing the race. And Brer Rabbit and Brer Bear and all the rest of the sodding Brer Animals Get on with your farming, you soft touch.

Celia Wicket Celia says:

  Bugger off samir and leave us alone we are enjoying ourselves and working in norfolk farmvillagers takes too much time to listen to you why dont you go and do something useful and leave us workers alone i mean it we have strawberries to harvest and fuel to find and thats enough for today.