Twilight Lawns plc

Morning Assembly

In response to a query relating to the General Ethos and Spiritual Guidance at Twilight Lawns


Dear Mr Palmers-Solid,


You have asked me how we start our day, and enquired whether what is done is with Love and with a Caring Nature towards our Dear Residents.


Dear Enquirer, if you were to attend at Twilight lawns, on any morning, at 8:30, you would be thrilled to stand and to watch a sight that brings tears to many an eye.  For there, in the Quadrangle outside the Emmeline and Christabel Pankhurst Memorial Billiard Rooms and Gymnasium is, was and ever shall be, a spectacle so magnificent to the sight.


For there, resplendent in the morning sunshine, in serried ranks, stand all the Staff and Residents, naturally in groups according to class; from the Plantagenet-Featheringstonehaughs, through the Windsors; down to Tom Mould and Betty the Sheep… (Actually, we have checked carefully, and Betty stands a little higher in the British Class System than Tom Mould).  Dear Raj, the Gardener’s Lad, slips the net, as he is foreign, but that is being looked into.  Another resident, Mrs Eulalia Hawkins attends, but is encouraged to take her place slightly away from the main throng, alongside Raj.  Her deep baritone voice, which is definitely reminiscent of the great Paul Robeson, is certainly appreciated in the singing; providing an excellent counterpoint to the more reedy voices of some of the older Girls... but her ethnicity asks one or two questions!


In their neatly formed lines the whole conclave sings first: the National Anthem (all verses), and then a chosen member recites a poem or sings a song or hymn of an inspirational nature.  This is generally followed by a short homily delivered by Matron or the Reverend Hugh Halitosis.  


Finally the residents and staff recite, in unison, the Twilight Lawns Motto:


“Un Intestin Heureux dans une Personne Heureuse”

(A Happy Bowel in a Happy Person)


and then, the well loved Battle Cry and Motto of the

Plantagenet-Featheringstonehaugh Family


Dear Lord,

As I go through life:

 if there is one person I can help along the way;

one person to whom I can hold out a helping hand;

one person who can benefit from my presence in this world;

Please let it be me.


Mr Palmers-Solid, my eyes fill with tears as I write this little missive to you…You must excuse me.  I have become too emotional to continue.


Yours etc.,


H. P-F (Matron)

twilight Claremont

View of the secondary building, showing the Main Tower incorporating the Portico, and on the right, the

Emmeline and Christabel Pankhurst

 Memorial Billiard Rooms and Gymnasium

The above is an advertisement for Dulcie cards.  

All names & addresses are purely fictional; any similarities between persons, living or dead are coincidental & the product of a deranged mind.

‘The Twilight Lawns Chronicles’ by Ian Dorking-Clark

Now available on Kindle, eBook, etc. See on line & at all reputable eBook sellers.