Twilight Lawns plc

Literary Club

Short description


A series of tales concerning Twilight Lawns, Surrey. Residential Home for the Elderly, the Distressed, but most importantly, the Well Bred. Join the Residents at play.

Take tea with Elspeth and Hermione. Marvel at the wisdom and organisational abilities of Maude. Join us at night for a last digestive biscuit and Senapod tea.

Then Medication Time and bed.

Good night!

Extended description


Twilight Lawns, Residential home for Distressed Gentlefolk.

Enter through the great gates of Twilight Lawns and meet some of the residents, the staff and not least, Mrs Hilda Plantagenet-Featheringstonehaugh, Matron of this well organised facility.

Take in the lovely grounds and outbuildings and the gracious house itself. Gaze in awe at a tide of pastel cardigans, grey hair and felt hats.

Meet Maude, the knower of all things. Watch Tom Mould, the gardener, and his talented assistant, Raj. Take afternoon tea, and share a slice of Battenberg cake with Mrs Prendergast. Try to have a meaningful conversation with one or two of our older residents.

Welcome all.

Kindle Please 1

Dear Relatives, Friends and Kind Souls,


In an attempt to raise some funds for much needed work to be carried out on the west facade after the devastation incurred when the Dreadful Josie Person brought the World War ii bomb into the grounds of our beloved Twilight Lawns, one has given permission for Dear Maude, or some other resident, to write a short history of The Home; our little Paradise on Earth.


Her little contribution is shown below.  Naturally one has not read it... One is far too busy.


Also, one’s Summer Home in Vallauris, France, is in need of a larger swimming pool and several outhouses, and one imagines that you, Dear Relatives, Friends and Kind Souls, would not wish one to suffer through a second hot Summer in the South of France without somewhere to sip one’s Daiquiris.


This book is to be sold in the Temporary Book Shop situated just outside the Princess Margaret Rose Cocktail Bar & Lounge.

Copies will also be  available, right next to the votive candles and religious medals, in the Crypt of The Little Sisters of Selective Charity, Streatham Hill.  Copies may also be purchased in the kiosk inside the Tea Rooms of our newly decorated Archbishop’s Palace, Norbury-sur-Mer. currently occupied by His Grace, Setrag, (Saint & Archbishop) Armenian Archbishop of Highbury and Islington.


If hard copies (That means real books with pages, covers and dust jackets) are unavailable, an eBook version may be purchased at and several other purveyors of such modern reading material.  

Details to be made available soon.


Your most obedient servant,

Hilda Plantagenet-Featheringstonehaugh (Matron)


(A caring and a loving thought)


One’s dear and trusted friend, Setrag, Armenian Archbishop of Highbury and Islington, has assured one that if you, dear Friend, Benefactor or Relative, were to buy one of these eBook things out of the goodness of your heart, and thus help Twilight Lawns financially, that the road to Paradise, when you depart this world, would be a much easier one to traverse.


In other words, you would be able to slip straight through the  Pearly Gates (in a dignified manner, of course) and not have to take your place in an interminable queue with Riff Raff, Poor People, Foreigners or any of those other Persons of no importance in Society.


Hilda Plantagenet-Featheringstonehaugh (Matron)


Dear Friends and Benefactors,


To view this wonderful work of literary genius, without having to be pushed and shoved by working class and lower middle class persons who frequent book shops, our Dear Raj has devised a method with which you may look at, and buy, 'The Twilight Lawns Chronicles.


One doesn't know how the dear lad has managed it, but apparently one has only to "click one's mouse" on the little button thing below, and something frightfully technological and exciting will happen





Unfortunately, one didn't have a mouse with one, and rodents are abhorrent to one anyway, so one didn't make an attempt.


But you, Dear Friends, may do so as much as you will.


Your most obedient servant,


Hilda Plantagenet-Featheringstonehaugh (Matron)