Dear Relatives, Friends and Kind Souls,
In an attempt to raise some funds for much needed work to be carried out on the west facade after the devastation incurred when the Dreadful Josie Person brought the World War ii bomb into the grounds of our beloved Twilight Lawns, one has given permission for Dear Maude, or some other resident, to write a short history of The Home; our little Paradise on Earth.
Her little contribution is shown below. Naturally one has not read it... One is far too busy.
Also, one’s Summer Home in Vallauris, France, is in need of a larger swimming pool and several outhouses, and one imagines that you, Dear Relatives, Friends and Kind Souls, would not wish one to suffer through a second hot Summer in the South of France without somewhere to sip one’s Daiquiris.
This book is to be sold in the Temporary Book Shop situated just outside the Princess Margaret Rose Cocktail Bar & Lounge.
Copies will also be available, right next to the votive candles and religious medals, in the Crypt of The Little Sisters of Selective Charity, Streatham Hill. Copies may also be purchased in the kiosk inside the Tea Rooms of our newly decorated Archbishop’s Palace, Norbury-sur-Mer. currently occupied by His Grace, Setrag, (Saint & Archbishop) Armenian Archbishop of Highbury and Islington.
If hard copies (That means real books with pages, covers and dust jackets) are unavailable, an eBook version may be purchased at Amazon.co.uk and several other purveyors of such modern reading material.
Details to be made available soon.
Your most obedient servant,
Hilda Plantagenet-Featheringstonehaugh (Matron)