Twilight Lawns plc

a couple of Jolly Incidents

Elspeth Lives Rough

Elspeth wandered off shortly after the Easter Service, and wasn’t missed until three weeks later when she was discovered living rough in the Grotto of the Four Hundred Virgins of Cracow, Thornton Heath, where she has been subsisting on votive candles, mice, voles and water from the well.

When captured, she seemed none the worse for wear, but as she had been running wild for some time, it was thought best to send her to the Doctor for a check up. Sharon took her, but hadn’t listening carefully, as she had been texting a message to Raj, on her mobile ‘phone. By mistake, she took Elspeth to Mark Nelson the Vet rather than to Doctor Graham.

However, there was a happy result… Mr Nelson, thinking that Elspeth was Semi, one of his patients, clipped her nails, had her hair mats removed and pronounced her to be in relatively good health, but suggested that she should have her anal glands cleaned more regularly.


Semi or Elspeth, the similarity is remarkable. When combed and dematted nobody seemed to notice the difference.