Residential Home for Distressed Gentlefolk,
whilst being under Royal Patronage of
H.R.H. Princess Alice of Schleswig-Philistine von Gotha und Hans-Knees-und-Bumsen-Daisy Und-So-Weiter,
has at times suffered, not so much as other
Less Reputable Organisations,
in leaning towards semi impecuniosity,
in recognition of this, we are always open
to receive Gifts.
Preferably Monetary Gifts
Donations: Please make cheques payable to:
Mrs Hilda Plantagenet-Featheringstonehaugh (Matron)
Twilight Lawns Mini Bus
We would all like to say a big Thank You
Matron, Cook and Nurse Smythe have been totting up the money that we, and you, Dear Friends, have collected at the We Need Transport Bazaar, the Bring and Buy Sale and Other Fund Raising Efforts over the last ten months. We have discovered that we have collected enough to make a substantial deposit on a new mini bus to replace Charlotte, our old and trusted char-à-banc. Dear Charlotte is really on her last legs (or wheels, to be exact). Wonderful old trouper, she has stood us in good stead for many years, but we think retirement is well overdue.
There will be money left over so we thought it fitting that it should be used to send Dear Matron for a well earned rest at her simple little holiday retreat. In an emergency, or if one has any more money as contributions to the We Need Transport drive, Matron may be contacted (BY POST ONLY) at:
Plantagenet sur la Plage,
We found a lovely photograph of Charlotte in her younger days when Twilight Lawns used her for jolly jaunts to the seaside, and days out, motoring through the picturesque little villages surrounding Twilight Lawn itself, The lovely little hamlet of Thornton Heath, and the equally pretty villages of Saint Reatham and Merton-on-the-Water.
Don't worry, we have plans to use her as a venue for a Reading Room and Quiet Corner in the summer months, and in the winter, Raj, the Gardener's Lad, is planning on raising chickens in her, He will just have to construct a tarpaulin cover to protect his Black Orpingtons from the elements… Dear Raj is so clever with his hands. Tom Mould's sheep, and almost constant companion, Betty, will also be able to go there when Tom is out and about and unable to take her with him.
‘The Twilight Lawns Chronicles’ by Ian Dorking-Clark
Now available on Kindle, eBook, etc. See on line & at all reputable eBook sellers.
The above is an advertisement for Dulcie cards.
All names & addresses are purely fictional; any similarities between persons, living or dead are coincidental & the product of a deranged mind.
Dear Relatives, Friends, Visitors and Residents,
If you have enjoyed visiting Twilight Lawns plc, but would like to know a little more about us, one has pleasure in announcing that Maude, our Dear Maude, has compiled a series of anecdotes, tales and minor histories concerning our beloved Home.
Clever Maude, with the assistance of Raj and his computer, and also having access to the filing cabinet in Nurse Smythe’s Office, has put together what these modern technology chaps call a Kindle, or eBook.
(Heavens what bizarre words they use nowadays)
This is not, one must hasten to add, a real book, with real paper and bound in real, genuine Morocco leather, but one must move with the times one supposes.
This Kindle artefact is available on line (whatever that should mean) under the title of ‘The Twilight Lawns Chronicles’ by Ian Dorking-Clark,
(This is either a nom de plume employed by Maude and Raj or is an actual resident, one of our more literary old gentlemen, currently residing in the Lord Kitchener Wing.
Your obedient servant,
Hilda Plantagenet-Featheringstonehaugh (Matron)