Twilight Lawns plc

The Cast - Thumbnail Sketches


Thumbnail sketches of some of the cast... In no particular order.




Raj: Raj is very popular with the ladies and some of the more lonely men.  We needed a handsome brown face for Ptolemy, and he fills the bill. His acting is very interesting; more Stanislavski than Miller, but it would help somewhat if he realised that speeches in plays do not always end with “Innit”.


Streatham Ladies’ Keep Fit Class & Dance Group: Most moving and spiritual rendition of Temple Votive Dance, choreographed by Mrs Pritti Patel from the Ethnic Support Agency and Fanny, one of our older Residents. These ladies should go far. .. if Fanny lives past her next birthday.


Eulalia Hawkins (Mrs): We needed a tall, masculine, black Palace Guard, and few come taller, more masculine or blacker than Mrs. Eulalia Hawkins.  Her performance at Christmas was amazing, only slightly marred when she left the stage during the Second Act to throw out the Christmas Carollers who were standing at the back of the Queen Alexandra Day Room making cat calls and singing We Three Kings in falsetto.  Her cry of, “Fight?  I’ll show you how to fight, you little buggers!” still strikes terror in the hearts of local Chavs.


Tom Mould & Betty: Tom and Betty make a lovely couple. There are echoes of Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy when they are on stage together.  This year Tom is standing down from his role as Mark Anthony, as Matron thought that both Józef and Władysław’s friend, Czcibor, have such lovely legs that would be wasted if they couldn’t show them off on stage. So Tom came off, and so did Czcibor‘s toga… straight into a short leather skirted Roman soldier’s uniform.


Neville the Snake: Neville is a Real Trouper.  Follows stage directions with intelligence and panache, yet with great modesty.  He should go far.


Cook: Cook has many strings to her bow.  To see her on stage is to see Sarah Bernhardt reborn.  Very sensitive and beautiful role, played to perfection by a Great Lady of the Theatre.


Maude: Maude’s training in the Girl Guides has put her in good stead for this role.  She has great stage presence and a voice that would stop traffic. (and frequently has). She is best remembered for her magnificent portrayal of T. E. Lawrence in the Royal Shakespeare Company’s, 'Sand? What Sand?'.


Sergei Yakwitch: Sergei‘s most beautiful “Love Song to an Egyptian Moon” will bring tears to the eye. Ah! that I understood Ukrainian, as it is sung in that language. His balalaika has the most plangent tones.  


Józef: Lovely lad. Seemed a bit confused, but looked lovely in his guard’s costume, He proves that more men should wear skirts.


Władysław: Sweet boy. Language difficulties should be ironed out soon, but he makes a great impression on stage.  He looks lovely in the toga that Matron designed especially for him.


Czcibor:  Wladyslaw and Józef’s little friend.  Dear Czcibor came to Twilight Lawns to decorate the Queen Alexandra Day Room and Amenities Area which had to be rebuilt and decorated after the fire. He’s such a sweet and accommodating lad that we have kept him on, along with his little chums.  His English isn’t wonderful but he looks so nice on stage in his costume that we let him mutter along and no one seems to mind.


Mrs Parker-Browne and Her Pump Organ: Mrs Parker-Browne must be given an Honourable Mention for her wonderful work at the Pump Organ.  For as long as one can remember, Dear Mrs Parker-Brown has supported us through Concerts, Nativity Plays and Jolly Music Making. And now, with her wonderful musical accompaniment, culminating in this year’s Extravaganza, 'Cleopatra, Queen of the Nile'.

Mainstay of all musical endeavours at Twilight Lawns, la Parker-Browne has always been here to entertain, to support, to lead us and our Dear Friends in Singalongs and Rehearsals; through casual Jolly Get-togethers and Performances.

Great Trooper that she is, Mrs Parker-Browne’s Chronic Flatulence has never held her back; she is a familiar and much loved sight; head bent over her organ; little legs flailing and pumping like a veritable traction engine.


Hilda (Mad Hildy): A perfect choice for the part of the Oracle.  Favourite saying… “There’ll be tears before bedtime” & “I’m almost ninety, you know”.  Barking Mad, so very useful in Classical Drama.


The Little Sisters of Selective Charity, Streatham Hill:

Costumes created by the nimble fingers of the Little Sisters of Selective Charity, Streatham Hill; under the watchful eye of Sister Mary Perpetua.


Hilda Plantagenet-Featheringstonehaugh: Costumes for Raj, Wladyslaw, Czcibor and Józef specially designed by our talented and artistic Hilda Plantagenet-Featheringstonehaugh.

The above is an advertisement for Dulcie cards.  

All names & addresses are purely fictional; any similarities between persons, living or dead are coincidental & the product of a deranged mind.

Twilight dancers twilight musicians

Two of our friends from the Streatham Ladies’ Keep Fit Class & Dance Group: 

Most moving and spiritual rendition of Temple Votive Dance. Choreographed by Mrs Pritti Patel from the Ethnic Support Agency and Fanny, one of our older Residents...

Incidental music and sound effects provided by

Mrs. Parker-Browne

on her pump organ.


Dear Audience, please do not be alarmed at any extraneous sounds during the performance.  Mrs Parker-Browne still struggles valiantly against the Demon Chronic Flatulence.  However, the results of her vigorous pumping of her organ often contribute to an unexpected cadenza, whether fortissimo or pianissimo, but

frequently most entertaining.

Flandrin Fils de Priam Polytes

Raj thought that his costume for Ptolemy was lovely, but he didn’t understand why Matron had to bring him into her office for so many measuring sessions.

However,  he thought, as did Czcibor, that she should have remembered his inside leg measurements by now.

But hanging around waiting for his cue gave him time to think about his Black Orpington chickens