Dearest Auntie Magda,
As you may remember, your adorable Great Nephew, Nigel, attends that highly reputable bastion of Education, Saint Botolph’s-by-the-Green, Surrey. I am sending this lovely photograph of Nigel in his costume for the Nativity Play; arranged and scripted by his dear Uncle Francis. Francis, as you may remember, is Mrs Plantagenet-Featheringstonehaugh’s good friend, and he is a Gentleman of the Cloth; Francis, Anglican Bishop of Crawley.
Apparently the Upper Sixth at Saint Botolph’s-by-the-Green, were staging a rival performance in the lead up to Christmastide; a sort of a Pantomime based on the story of Robin Hood. I think it was entitled ‘Girls in Green’ or something jolly like that.
Unfortunately, bows and arrows and Upper Sixth Louts, whether of a decent class or not, do not make a good combination. Those naughty boys (I’m sure that it was all done purely in a spirit of fun, if somewhat unnecessarily) decided to have target practice in the hall where our dear Nigel was rehearsing for his part as the Baby Jesus.
Too many arrows and not enough Nigel to go around, I’m afraid to report.
But his dear Uncle Francis is a real old trooper, so he quickly rewrote the little Nativity Play as ‘The Life and Somewhat Prickly Death of Saint Sebastian’.
All the Pink Papers gave the show wonderful write-ups but poor dear Nigel has to go round fully clothed most of the time, now. And as you well know, our family has never been known to show too little flesh. One fondly remembers your dear sister, Beatrice; Beatrice des Grandes Poitrines, as she was known.
And all the Elastoplast poor little Nigel used up was quite more than one could have anticipated.
Please note: the enclosed photograph of Nigel in his roll of ‘Baby Jesus’ was taken during rehearsals, and not, as is apparent, after the target practice. But boys will be boys, and I am sure that within some months and by diligent applications of aloe vera he will be frolicking on the sands at Cap D’entibe or Le Rouret or Golfe Juane, where we have our Summer home, as he has in former years.
Isn't this a lovely photo of Dear Little Nigel. The family resemblance is quite remarkable, isn't it?
Lots of love,
(Nigel’s Mummy, as I'm sure you'll remember)